


Diary of a Ninken

by Jainas-in-English (Jainas)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Cute, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Ninken | Ninja Dogs, POV Outsider, POV Pakkun, eternal rivals, fanzine: Eternal Rival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jainas/pseuds/Jainas-in-English
Summary: Pakkun meets Maito Gai (also known as “who, that freak? No, he is not my rival, I don’t care about him, he will get over it”) when Kakashi is already a chunin and the boy still a genin.He gets summoned during a joint mission between Gai’s and Kakashi’s teams and is greeted by a theatrical bellow to the tune of “Ho, Kakashi, my Eternal Rival! So Modern, so Talented that you can summon Mighty Allies!” (Well, at least he can recognize quality when he sees it, thinks Pakkun…)





	Diary of a Ninken

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't written anything Naruto in ten years, and then the Zine Eternal Rivals gave me the opportunity to write those two crazy ninjas... and to indulge in outsider's POV, which is a favorite of mine and even funnier when the outsider is a talking dog. <3  
> With so many thanks to Chonaku for pointing me at the zine submission call and to Sunlit-Stone for the great beta job, this fic wouldn't be half as good without her!

The first time Pakkun officially meets Kakashi is when he is a few-months-old pup, still small enough to fit in one of Sakumo’s hands. He is from a long line of ninja dogs bound to the Hatake and his Da bringing him to the head of the clan is a long-held tradition. He doesn’t remember, but his Da likes to tell the story of how he bit Kakashi with his needle-sharp puppy fangs and then managed to speak his first words: Kakashi’s name. Each retelling of the story makes him younger and his teeth sharper, but the amusement and pride are always the same.

By the first time they are _properly_ introduced, Pakkun is a totally grown and already trained one-year-old ninken and Kakashi is a six-ish boy with spiky white hair, already quite talented by human standards if he was able to summon him, even under his father’s supervision. (“I’m _almost_ seven _!”_  he protests with a pout when Pakkun points that out, forgetting for a minute to do his best approximation of a serious grown-up).

Pakkun snickers and settles to listen to Sakumo explain to his heir all the things a ninja dog can do, the different uses of the summoning scrolls and the boundaries of their pact with the Hatake clan, before summoning the other dogs and introducing the kid properly to the pack. Kakashi gets licked quite a lot (not by Pakkun though, he has _dignity,_ unlike some ninken he won’t name), and manages to do pretty well at the training exercises Sakumo sets for them, even if he hasn’t quite mastered yet the trick of masking his excitement.

There are a lot more training sessions after that, even a few missions with the kid between the summons of the White Fang for much grimmer work. And then nothing and it’s a long while before the dogs get called again, and when they do Kakashi is masked and cold and aloof, and when Pakkun asks, he only says “my father was weak, and a traitor,” and then refuses to talk any more about it.

 

***

 

He meets Maito Gai (also known as “who, that freak? No, he is _not_ my rival, I don’t care about him, he will get over it”) when Kakashi is already a chunin and the boy still a genin. He gets summoned during a joint mission between Gai’s and Kakashi’s teams and is greeted by a theatrical bellow to the tune of “Ho, Kakashi, my Eternal Rival! So Modern, so Talented that you can summon Mighty Allies!” (Well, at least he can recognize quality when he sees it, thinks Pakkun…) “But I’ll train, I’ll gather all my Strength and the Springtime of my Youth and run three hundred laps around the village and do a thousand one-handed push-ups and you will see! The Great Jade Beast of Konoha will become the best Taijustu User the village has ever known, and maybe one day I’ll be worthy of a summoning pact too!!!”

The source of the commotion is a gangly boy with the biggest eyebrows Pakkun has ever seen on a human, a terrible haircut, and quite a set of lungs. Also, although Pakkun don’t see colors like humans do, he is pretty sure there is something going on with his skin-tight suit and the neckerchief…

On Kakashi’s team Obito and Rin seem to find the whole thing pretty hilarious, while the boy’s teammates look half-jaded, half-embarrassed, in a somewhat fond kind of way.

Pakkun is sent to carry a message to Minato, but before he can go, Eyebrow-boy bows to him and introduces himself as “Maito Gai, at your service! I am Kakashi’s greatest Rival!” and because Pakkun’s Ma was strict and raised him well he doesn’t listen to Kakashi’s hissed “Don’t encourage him!!” and introduces himself back.

(Also, it is the first time someone bowed to him! It’s a level of respect he could definitely get used to...)

 

***

 

Pakkun knows he isn’t the most physically impressive ninken ever, and he is certainly not the most useful in a direct fight when he is alone without the pack… But his summoning requires the least chakra, he is very fast and he has the best nose: he gets called a lot, for tracking, for message delivery and sometimes, he suspects, just for company. (But Kakashi would never admit to it, and he might stop if Pakkun pointed it out… So he keeps his peace and lets Kakashi feeds him and doesn’t comment when he is called without an obvious goal.) He listens to the boy reflect out loud on this new electricity jutsu he is working on, vent his frustration about this so-called ‘rival’ that won’t quit or his unprofessional teammates, that coward Obito and how can Minato-sensei bear to lead such a team, when Kakashi is undoubtedly much better and they are just holding him back?

And After, when the scar across his face is still an angry red, Kakashi tells him about the mission, how he got Obito killed, confesses how wrong he was to ever blame his father for putting his team before the mission. Then Pakkun goes to him and curls on his lap, and let him cry it out.

Sometime being a ninken is not about fights at all.

 

***

 

Pakkun can glimpse the Memorial Stone a few hundred meters away through the vegetation, and his nose tells him this is where his master came from, even if he is now up in a tree, reading. He doesn’t have the time to ask any questions though, because, two seconds later...

“Kakashi, my talented Rival! This time it only took me three minutes to unmask your Kagebushin! -Not literally of course! But I’m getting better at spotting your clones! And now it’s time to face me in the flesh... I challenge you to a one-eyed kunai throwing contest!”

Pakkun can see Kakashi’s visible eye twitch just a little, but probably not because Gai’s haircut is even more terrible than before and the neckerchief seems to have been replaced by inexplicable legwarmers…

 Since he lost his left eye, his aim and depth perception have been subpar… Sure, the Sharingan is one hell of a weapon, but he can never keep it uncovered for long and compensating for his new blind spot has been exhausting. Pakkun knows that he has been keeping to himself, trying not to worry Rin, and using his medical leave to train twice as hard as usual in order to relearn all the basics.

Well, seems like someone else is worried and not very subtle about it… And not willing to take no for an answer, either.

“Huh… If I must... Best one out of three?”

“Ha Kakashi, so spiritual… You meant _at least_ out of thirty-one certainly!”

 

***

 

Then Minato and Kushina die, and then Rin… And if Pakkun thought Kakashi was bad before, he can see now he was clearly mistaken.

 

***

 

One day Kakashi summons him to go ahead and carry a message while he is still getting prepared, the ANBU uniform waiting on the bed, and he smells different. He showered, but Pakkun is the finest tracker of the pack: his nose can’t be deceived by some water and a bit of that scentless soap most high level ninjas favor. Mixed with the common steel oil of weaponry and Kakashi’s own scents there are hints of sex fluids, (not that unusual either, only that they tend to be only _his_ , which is not the case here), and even more interesting he can detect the now familiar scent of Gai. It smells like… Oh yep, they definitely boned.

Good for Kakashi: ANBU or not, being that solitary can’t be healthy for him. Of course Pakkun is a well-travelled ninken, he _knows_ all about “romance” and all those weird ideas about sex the humans get. He knows that they like to complicate everything, but in his experience shinobis at least tend to be more straightforward about their physical needs than civilians, and as far as he can tell most of the jounins are not as peculiar as Kakashi about all that humping stuff... They do it weird and not always in the sanest way maybe, but at least they do it… Nindogs are much more sensible about it: a good butt sniffing and if the time is right a good mating as well and sometimes pups after… It’s really not that complicated, nothing like the tangles like humans get into. Maybe if they could sniff each other they would be less weird about it? He should ask Kala Inuzuka the next time he sees her, she is one fine hound and even if she can’t talk as he does, she may have insight on humans’ mating…

But anyway. It’s a bit surprising, but Kakashi definitely needed it: he had been increasingly grim and spare-worded the six or seven last times he summoned Pakkun, whereas there is now something slightly more relaxed in his bearing, and he smells a bit less sour than before. Sure, Pakkun thinks Maito Gai is batshit weird even for a jounin (and jounins are already often _extra_ weird, it’s like a corollary of strength), but if an overly persevering and energetic self-proclaimed rival is what it takes to get Kakashi laid, he isn’t about to protest.

Pakkun says nothing, but before running out of the window he sniffs very obviously and raises his eyebrows. And Kakashi _blushes_ under his mask before getting stone-faced again, he can totally tell.

Pfff, humans… So complicated.

 

***

 

The next time he sees Gai on a mission, the man is in the middle of an improbable declaration about the Springtime of Youth and somehow jutsuing a rainbow and a crashing wave in the background, before promising that next time he will vanquish more Mist nins than his Eternal Rival… Business as usual then and Pakkun doesn’t detect any hint of romantic promises in the flow of his speech. Sure, ninjas like to be discreet about this sort of thing, but he didn’t think Gai had it in him to keep something like that under wraps… Or maybe it was a one-time occurrence? It would be more Kakashi’s style in truth, but you only need to have met Gai for like three seconds to know that he is incapable of doing anything that matters without committing fully to it, and that he is the least casual shinobi ever.

Kakashi of course refuses to comment and Pakkun finally manages to negotiate a huge ox bone out of him in exchange for dropping the subject. The other ninken have no more information on this either, outside of “all clear” and “nothing out of the ordinary...” Bull does say that he thinks Kakashi is a bit less depressed, but the frequency of calls of the whole pack for ANBU work stays at an all-time high, either alone or with his team. Pakkun’s great-great-aunt, who was a ninken on Sakumo’s mother’s pack and is blind and very old, shakes her head and grumbles “Not good, not good… My Kaeshi used to say that when a ninja takes too many High Level missions that way, death is never far.” To which Bishu who thinks he is very clever answers “Sure, but for whom?” with a laugh…

But Aunt Kisha is right and Pakkun can’t help but worry.

 

***

 

Once, he spends a whole night with Gai under the rain during a hellish ANBU mission, tracking enemies in the forest, dispatching them by the light of lightning, then moving on to the next patrol of Stone shinobi, then the nest and the next, while Kakashi is doing the same eastward with Urushi as his guide.

Two hours in Pakkun is wet to the bone, caked with mud from ears to tail and almost useless as the rain makes it difficult even for his nose to parse anything. On the plus side, Gai is incredibly efficient, faster than any nin Pakkun has even met, and less prone to speeches when Kakashi isn’t here to goad him on… Or maybe it’s the ANBU mask, that seems to dampen his usual good cheer and determination, turn them into something cold that makes Pakkun slightly uneasy.  Sure, he spent a few minutes gushing about Youth and Springtime as well as the necessity to Be There for his Rival in his Time of Need, and Pakkun found himself treated to one or two Nice Guy Poses and subsequent promises, but that’s just Gai for you and they were actually pretty subpar. (But as he usually keeps his promises, any vow to protect Pakkun and get him back to Kakashi in one piece is never a bad thing anyway.)

When the rain gets freezing, Gai offers the shelter of his jounin vest to Pakkun (the grey ANBU flak jackets having been discarded from the start of the mission as they make prime targets in the night) and he accepts, glad for the chance to get a bit warmer before resuming tracking and getting to the next fight.

By the time they finally meet with Kakashi, Gai has collected quite a few wounds but slain all seven enemies they came across. The Copy Nin is less injured but moves in a way that screams of chakra depletion to Pakkun, and without saying anything Gai paces himself on their way back to Konoha. Pakkun only leaves them at the gates, while the other jounin is presenting their credentials to the sentry.

“ANBU work doesn’t suit Gai…” he comments as a parting shot, feigning disinterest.

“I know,” answers Kakashi, almost sad. And then, determined, as if he has come to a conclusion: “I know.”

 

***

 

Guh, Gai’s new team sure is something. Each time Pakkun is surprised anew by how _small_ genins are. Has Kakashi ever been that young? And dear Gods, _where did Gai find that kid?_ This is beyond weird, even for him... But even if getting students mean extra drama in his life, at least he seems much happier.  (Though… was it really necessary to teach the boy to do the Nice Guy pose?)

And Kakashi can needle him all he wants, but once he has genins of his own, he fares absolutely no better in the drama and happiness departments: as promising as they are, Naruto is even much more noisier than Lee (and much less polite), and who thought it was a good idea to let him dress in _orange_?

Pakkun doesn’t make any snide comments on the Uchiha kid who thinks he is much better than his team, but only because he can tell Kakashi already thinks them all.

 

***

 

After the Sasuke debacle, Kakashi retreats into an almost unprecedented level of silence, although he doesn’t seem as intent on self-destructing as Pakkun feared. He still accepts high-level missions, but his focus seems to be on developing his Sharingan and becoming stronger, and his challenges with Gai often take a more serious turn. Twice the pack is summoned to a no holds barred training session between the two men that last for hours and ends up with a leveled field and both jounins side by side on their backs, so severely chakra-depleted that once Pakkun almost has to fetch Shizune.

He also suspects a few no holds barred sessions in bed, but Kakashi seems to have learned to clean-up better and Gai still won’t say anything.

_Ugh, humans…_

 

***

 

By now Pakkun is familiar with most of Kakashi’s peers and friends, and one day Genma lets go of his senbon long enough to ask: “Heh, so… Kakashi and Gai? It takes all kinds I suppose, and yet it kinda makes sense… How long has it been, then?”

But of course Pakkun isn’t some green pup, so he answers something noncommittal and asks how long _Genma_ thinks it has been going on… which is how he discovers there is a bet between the senior jounins -with even the _Hokage_ in on it!- regarding how long Kakashi and Gai have been sleeping together. Most are wildly off the mark with things like “since the rescue mission in Suna,” or the closest (Anko) “since Sasuke left”...

Pakkun confirms nothing and manages to get bribed with enough steaks for the whole pack in exchange for his silence... And then (of course) tells the whole thing to Kakashi who doesn’t seems surprised, smiles and for once doesn’t deny anything.

“Well…  now that the secret is out, if I ever hear anything about a challenge taking place in bed, I am retiring…”

Kakashi smiles bigger and just says “Oh, but those are for the _private_ tally… Don’t worry about it, Gai _does_ know how to be discreet, sometimes.”

Urgh.

 

***

 

By the fifth occurrence of resurrection, Pakkun decides he is getting too old for this shit.

 

***

 

The day Kakashi is officially appointed Hokage the whole pack is there at the edge of the crowd, in their best uniform, standing with Kakashi’s friends and former students, all still wearing black after the tremendous losses and heartbreak of the Fourth Great War.

Gai is there also, a few meters away and still convalescent, Tenten and Lee by his side, crying openly with great happy gulps, indifferent to the stares of the people who don’t know him.

After overhearing a nasty whispered comment, Pakkun finally hops on the armrest of the wheelchair and glares at the impudent naysayer.

“Sixth Hokage, heh? Who would have thought?”

Gai smiles, and cries harder.

 

***

 

Chaekkun is not his first pup, but she is the first he is sure will be a ninken. He waits until she is a few weeks old before bringing her to Kakashi, who holds her in his lap and pets her looking altogether much too mushy for Pakkun’s comfort.

“You will never have an heir to pass on the Hatake summoning pact, will you?”

At that Kakashi looks a bit wry and says “That’s highly unlikely, yes… Hey Gai, wants to hold her?”

Gai rolls his wheelchair over with dexterity and bows his head a little to Pakkun before taking the pup and fondly letting her gnaw at his knuckles.

“It is an honor to meet young Chaekkun, I’m sure she will become the finest ninken and the most steadfast friend, just like her father… She sure is already full of fighting spirit!”

“Actually, about the pact I have been thinking...” says Kakashi while his husband keeps on praising the pup now trying to climb on his shoulder. “Sakura has a promising student, a girl from a civilian background. She has no clan bloodline or special technique but she is dedicated, very hard-working and shows an impressive mastery of chakra… And she is a bit of a troublemaker, according to Sakura. Maybe I could send you to shadow her on a few missions, and you’ll let me know what you think?”

“A new pact… that should be interesting,” allows Pakkun, gruff but not displeased by the solution.

“She bit me,” beams Gai, as proud as if the pup were actually his... “Such a fierce warrior already… The future of your line is secure, my friend.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback loved. If you like, [reblog](https://jainasherself.tumblr.com/post/173826174415/diary-of-a-ninken-jainas-in-english-jainas)!


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